Counselling, coaching and psychotherapy by Kat Marlow in Market Harborough   Get a call back       Save contact

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Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

1 month ago

Anyone who has had a panic attack will recognize some, if not all of these symptoms. Panic attacks are terrifying, debilitating and can feel as though they are taking over your life - people can find themselves avoiding situations that might induce a panic attack to such an extent that they are no longer able to participate in normal daily life. And this in turn, makes their world smaller and the anxiety that drives the panic attacks greater. But what is a panic attack? Simply put, it's an over-activation of our bodies innate threat response. The fear, dread, pounding heart and gasping for breath is actually your body preparing you to run away from the perceived threat ... except often that perceived threat doesn't actually warrant the extreme response. So what can you do? Firstly, learn techniques to try and manage them - your brain is telling you to run away ... so move! You don't have to run away, but jog on the spot, dance, run up and down the stairs - this will send a message to the brain that you have responded to it's demands and you will feel calmer. If you are unable to control your breathing and are feeling unwell, breath into a paper bag or your cupped hands - rapid breathing affects the oxygen to carbon dioxide ratio in your blood and breathing into a bag or your hands will help to rectify this and make you feel better. Try deep breathing if you can - this will help to lower the threat response and reduce the panic attack, giving you the sense of being back in the driving seat. And then find someone to help you to identify the underlying source of the anxiety and address it. Panic attacks are deeply distressing and they can be managed, reduced and often resolved with the right help. #humangivens #positivechange ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

1 month ago

This is a conversation I find I often have with clients, particularly those who have experienced trauma of some kind. It would be wonderful if we could go back and undo the things that we've experienced so that we no longer had those painful memories but we can't do that, and wishing that this were possible actually holds us, stuck in the past, re-experiencing painful feelings and patterns of behavior in new situations that create an even bigger emotional burden. But the idea of changing the way we move forwards can feel utterly impossible ... and yet is achievable. With awareness of what's holding us and why, and the right help to perhaps re-process those memories and create new expectations for future experiences it is possible to move memories from the present into the past - they will still be there, and we will be able to recall them and recall how we felt at the time, but we will also be able to choose how we manage them and view them, and whether we allow them to define how we move forwards into the future. #humangivens #positivechange #Rewind #changethefuture ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

2 months ago

I love Charlie Mackesys' book "The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse" - it's one of my favourite buys from last year and lives on the coffee table in my office, always ready to offer a little wisdom for anyone who happens to be searching for it. I particularly like this picture because it so beautifully encapsulates the kind of conversation I often have with clients. They sit, despairing because they can't see where they are trying to get to, frustrated at not knowing what the "end" will look like or scared that they might never get there. And so I remind them that perhaps, in that moment, all they really need to do is to be able to see the next step. Sometimes, it's not about being able to see the whole journey; sometimes it's enough to know that you can see your next step and that there is someone walking along side you to steady you if you stumble. So if you can only see your next step - that's ok. Take it and see where it leads you. And if you feel you need someone to walk along side you or to help you to figure out where the next step is, whether that's a trusted friend, or a therapist, that's ok too. Thousand mile journeys begin with single steps - the most important thing is that you take the first one! ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

2 months ago

We all of us feel overwhelmed sometimes. It's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. It's actually our brains way of telling us that it needs some time to process what's going on in our heads before it can take on board any more information. One of our basic emotional needs is the need for privacy, and that's not just shutting yourself in a quiet place away from everyone else (although that can be part of it, particularly if you find being around lots of other people quite emotionally draining). Privacy is about having mental (and physical) time and space to allow our brains to make sense of what's going on around us, to consolidate, to make adjustments and to create sufficient space for us to deal with the next round of activities - we have finite mental capacity and no amount of pushing ourselves will change the fact that sooner or later, it will run out. In fact, pushing ourselves too hard makes us less productive and leaves us feeling miserable and exhausted. . So next time you feel overwhelmed, stop, take a deep breath, give yourself 5 minutes of privacy - switch to physical activity to get your heart pumping oxygenated blood around your body while your brain takes a rest, breathe deeply and stretch. Better still, plan to do these things regularly throughout the day - I wonder what you will notice as a result? ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

2 months ago

... or your looks, your physical fitness, your wealth, your status or anything else for that matter. Unfortunately, particularly in the work place we are often measured and "valued" in terms of how hard we work, how much we get done, how far we are willing to go in the pursuit of objectives and that's ok when we are achieving. But what if we find that, for whatever reason, our productivity drops ... what then? It can have a pretty devastating effect on our sense of self-worth - we begin to feel useless, perhaps even that we don't deserve respect, or help or attention. Now I'm not suggesting that being a productive human being isn't important - actually, to be healthy, we need to feel like we are making a contribution in some way and that we can achieve, but our sense of worth needs to be based in who we are, not what we do; if your capacity to "do" was taken away from you tomorrow, what would be left? What do you value about yourself - maybe you're kind, perhaps you have the capacity to show great empathy; are you patient, wise, funny, a good friend to others (and yourself)? It is in these things that our true worth really lies and it is here that the greatest personal development can be gained. As Malcolm X said ... "we cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves" ... and that acceptance has to come from within! ... See MoreSee Less