Counselling, coaching and psychotherapy by Kat Marlow in Market Harborough   Get a call back       Save contact

More services...

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

5 days ago

As Corona virus continues to dominate the headlines and our lives, it's easy to start to feel overwhelmed by the negative news, the lack of certainty and the sense of instability in all things. If you're finding it hard to take a step back and make sense of things, then you might find it helpful to check in and explore how you're feeling. I'm currently offering half hour one-off sessions for those who would just like the opportunity to talk things through and try and put the current situation into some kind of perspective. Contact me for more information regarding availability today! ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

3 weeks ago

Anxiety caused by the Corona virus is rising by the minute – headlines focus on the most sensational part of stories, often missing important information that provides context, increasing the fear and leaving us feeling out of control, vulnerable and scared. We worry about ourselves; we worry about our parents, our children, our friends and our colleagues – our physical health is under threat and we want to make sure that we do everything that we can to protect ourselves! Should we isolate or not? What will happen next? … all questions we don’t currently have the answers to. It feels as if everywhere we turn, we are confronted with the effects of the outbreak, whether it’s blanket media coverage or empty shelves in the supermarkets.

So what can we do? The most important thing is to identify what we can actually control. Often when things like this happen we are drawn to the things that we can’t control, the things we can’t do anything about and this makes us feel more and more anxious and upset. These things that we can’t control aren’t going to magically disappear no matter how hard we focus on them and they distract us from the things that we can still do. Taking time to refocus attention back to the things that can be done is a really valuable way of giving ourselves back a measure of control … actually doing something about those things leaves us feeling accomplished and positive. If you’re struggling with this as an idea, write a list of all the things that concern you or that are on your mind. Go down the list and write C (for control) against all the things that you CAN do, that are YOUR responsibility and that you CAN control; Now go down the list again and see if there are any that you can influence and write an I next to them – these might be things where you can ask other people to do things for you, for example. The rest is out of your control. Get a big black marker pen and cross them through – they won’t disappear, but right now you don’t need to focus on them. Most importantly, decide what you are actually going to do about the ones that you’ve written a C against, and whether it’s worth trying to do anything about the ones you can influence.

Next is to appreciate that this isn’t PERSONAL – we are all in this situation; we are all experiencing a similar degree of uncertainty and in this sense are all in it together. And it’s also not your fault! This may sound silly but actually if we can separate ourselves from the situation, we will feel less fearful!

It also isn’t PERMANENT – right now we don’t know how long this will last and to what extent special measures will be taken, but it will come to an end at some point. Yes, it’s probably going to bring a good deal of disruption along the way, holidays could well be on a smaller scale and we will have to do some things differently for a while. But it won’t’ last forever!

And finally, it isn’t PERVASSIVE – whilst it may feel as though the Corona virus has infected every last aspect of our lives, the reality is that it hasn’t. There are still lots of things that we can do that are unaffected by the virus. We can still connect with people, get fresh air and find enjoyment even if we have to do it in a more limited way. Read books, set yourself a goal to learn a new language, dig out those board games that you haven’t played for years! And if we all find ourselves socially distancing, why not get creative with how you meet up – what about a virtual night out … we have access to some really amazing technology – I wonder what we could do with it?

Most importantly is to recognise that anxiety and fear are both emotional states that prevent us from seeing the bigger picture – they focus our attention on immediate survival (and rightly so) but in situations like this, that level of focus can become deeply unhelpful. So finding ways to relax and stay calm are also vital. It’s probably a good idea to limit how much time you spend looking at breaking news (because the reality is there isn’t a great deal of it … most news is just the same thing being repeated, which only serves to build our sense of fear); look into relaxation techniques to help give you a greater sense of calm and if you feel overwhelmed, contact a counsellor – it can be really helpful to have a single conversation and explore what you can do to help yourself stay calm and relaxed and chances are, you’ll be able to do this online if you don’t want to or can’t meet face to face.

The World Health Organisation have put together these easy to understand guidelines regarding coping with stress during the Corona Virus outbreak. If you feel that you’d benefit from a conversation with a trained mental health professional, you can contact me for further details and we could very quickly be exploring strategies to help you make the most of the days and weeks to come in a way that supports both your physical and emotional health!

#positivechangeforever #covid19 #goodmentalhealth #copingwithstress #anxiety #coronavirus #keepcalm ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

2 months ago

Following on from my post earlier this week about supporting those who are experiencing thoughts of suicide, I'd like to share this wonderful app developed by a fellow Human Givens trained therapist who has lived experience of feeling suicidal. The app recognises that when we feel suicidal we are in a highly emotional state which makes it harder for us to connect with the rational and logical area of our brain. In an easy to follow and calm way, the app walks you through a process of breathing to begin to lower the emotional distress, helping you reconnect with other parts of your brain and then guides you through activities that help to reinforce calm and generate a different perspective. As someone with lived experience of suicide, I wish this had been available to help me on the journey back to where I am now! It's by no means the whole solution and I would still strongly encourage seeking help from mental health professionals to ensure that you have all the support you need, but I would highly recommend this as an excellent tool to help the process of continuing to put one foot in front of the other while you find a way to live again!

www.thebetterappcompany.com/app/suicide

#suicideprevention #betterstopsuicideapp #suicidesupport #positivechangeforever ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

2 months ago

Following the sad death by suicide of Caroline Flack this weekend, there's been lots of posts on social media about looking out for our friends and loved ones and making sure that we check that they are ok. I'd like to offer an alternative viewpoint. Firstly, let's agree that we could look out for our friends and loved ones any time, regardless of whether they are experiencing emotional distress. And now let's understand that suicidal thoughts are rarely resolved through the actions of caring friends and family alone. When someone reaches the point of suicide it is because their emotional distress has become intolerable to them - death is a permanent solution to a mental health illness that appears to have no end. It is not a choice that a person makes and many people who end their life are surrounded by people they love. What they need is an appropriate balance of love and support and professional mental health care. So, if someone you care about is struggling with mental illness absolutely BE KIND. And also help them to seek appropriate professional support as quickly as possible - you wouldn't try and heal someone with cancer just with kindness ... mental illness is no different! #SuicideAwareness #samaritans #ianschain #campaignagainstlivingmiserably #papyrus #positivechangeforever ... See MoreSee Less

Positive Change Coaching & Counselling

2 months ago

Sometimes fixing what's broken means changing how we perceive it. Take the broken mug on the left - we could hope we have all the pieces and try to glue it back together again. Assuming that we have all the pieces, if we are lucky we might be able to create a whole cup, but the chances are that it will always be weaker where it's been repaired and more vulnerable to further damage. If we don't have all the pieces, in all likelihood we probably won't be able to use the cup again and will end up throwing it away. So what can we do? Would you have considered creating the cup in the right? Sometimes we have to be willing to put away the glue, let go of our beliefs around what things should look like and challenge ourselves to see a new purpose or perspective. Sometimes repair isn't about trying to put things back the way they were - sometimes repair is about putting the past behind us and finding a new shape to things. It's not always easy to see how things could be different and sometimes we might need some help to get a different perspective but change is always possible, no matter how big or small! So if you're feeling a bit like the mug on the left and haven't yet worked out what to do about it, perhaps a few sessions with a therapist might help you apply some creativity, explore your options and gain a different perspective. Why not drop me a message and we can explore working together either face to face or online - it might be that the change you need is only a step away! #positivechangeforever #talkingtherapy #onlinetherapy #transformnotfix ... See MoreSee Less